Ditch these seven ‘wise sayings’ right away!

It’s funny to reflect on how growing up in sentimental Nigeria, I readily accepted certain sayings without much scrutiny. I took them at face value because they seemed to make perfect sense.

However, with the benefit of wisdom, I began to contemplate these expressions more deeply — and inspite of the old adage that says “curiosity killed the cat,” I found that “knowledge brings it back to life.”

We often accept and internalize what is passed down, however, many of these hand-me-down adages aren’t true to life.

Today, we embark on a journey to examine some particularly notorious ones, which may not be as golden as they appear.

These sayings have endured for a long time, but today, we challenge them!

1. "Good Things Come to Those Who Wait"

Certainly, patience is a virtue, but can it be the key to success? Waiting for your Netflix to load might be tolerable, but waiting for your dreams to come true is a risky endeavor. Being complacent can cause the things you cherish to slip away, and you may end up making hasty decisions, leaving you with mere remnants. In other words, dreams don't typically arrive with a side of fries. You can't expect life to hand things to you on a silver platter. Instead, you must actively work towards your goals.

This doesn't mean impulsive or reckless actions, but rather a proactive pursuit of your ambitions. In essence, success often rewards those who combine patience with consistent effort, not those who simply sit and wait. So, step out of your comfort zone, seize the day, and proactively shape your own destiny, rather than leaving it to chance.

2. "Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover"

The age-old adage "Don't judge a book by its cover" advocates for non-judgment and encourages us to be open-minded. It underscores the importance of not hastily forming opinions about people or situations based on initial appearances. However, it's essential to balance this wisdom with a dose of discernment and trust in our instincts.

While blind trust can be risky, a cautious approach doesn't mean we should live in a state of perpetual skepticism. It's a matter of striking a balance. Personally, I prefer to gain a preliminary understanding of a book or a movie through spoilers before diving in. This method allows me to make informed decisions, but it doesn't necessarily imply I'm blindly trusting every source of information.

When it comes to people and situations, while initial impressions can be misleading, I agree that there's wisdom in not waiting indefinitely to uncover the truth about someone. However, it's still valuable to give individuals a chance to reveal their character through their actions and words. Trust is something that should be earned but not readily given away without some degree of discernment.

So, in the pursuit of fairness, it's essential to navigate the balance between non-judgment and a healthy level of skepticism, allowing us to make well-informed decisions and form meaningful connections.

3. "Follow Your Heart"

We've all heard it – "Follow your heart." It's advice for making big, romantic moves and sometimes, big life decisions. But let's be real, your heart can be like an overexcited puppy sometimes. It tugs you in all directions. What's the trick? Balance.

Balancing what your heart wants with what makes sense is key. I remember a time when I was planning a trip to a place I'd never been before. My heart was all, "Explore everything!" But my practical side said, "Hold on, don't overdo it."

So, I found a middle ground. I followed my heart, but I also used my head. I chose the experiences that mattered most to me and stayed open to surprises.

In life, listening to your heart is crucial, but so is keeping your feet on the ground. Balance is the secret sauce. It lets you chase your dreams without losing sight of reality. So, follow your heart, but don't forget to keep your wits about you.

4. "Everything Happens for a Reason"

The phrase "Everything happens for a reason" has a way of offering comfort during challenging times. It implies that there's a purpose or meaning behind every event in our lives. However, when we carry this notion to an extreme, it can lead to misunderstandings. It might unintentionally suggest that every setback or misfortune is somehow predetermined or part of a grand design, which can undermine the validity of our emotions and experiences.

In my own life, I've come to understand the limitations of this saying. There have been moments when I've faced adversity that seemed utterly senseless, such as a sudden end of a cherished relationship. At times like these, the idea that "everything happens for a reason" didn't provide immediate solace. Instead, it felt like an oversimplification of life's complexities.

Life, I realized, is a mix of chance, choice, and circumstance. It's in embracing this complexity that we can find both the courage to confront adversity and the humility to appreciate moments of serendipity. So, while the saying offers a glimmer of hope, let's not forget that it's okay to accept that our feelings and experiences are always valid, no matter the reason behind them.

5. “Ignorance is bliss."

The age-old saying, "Ignorance is bliss," implies that there's a certain peace and contentment that comes from not knowing the truth or remaining blissfully unaware of certain facts. The idea is that ignorance can lead to a happier life. But how long can one truly remain blissfully ignorant?

While there's a grain of truth in this adage, it's essential to realize that ignorance, when taken to an extreme, can be detrimental. It can lead to missed opportunities, poor decision-making, and a lack of awareness about important issues. As someone who values personal growth, I've come to appreciate that willful ignorance can be a double-edged sword.

The allure of staying in my comfort zone, avoiding challenging conversations, or not delving into complex subjects seems easier at times however, I've learned that choosing to remain in the dark comes at a cost. It can mean missing out on valuable insights, personal growth, and the opportunity to make informed decisions.

Ignorance might offer a temporary respite, but it's often fleeting. Eventually, reality catches up, and the price of ignorance becomes evident. Being curious and open to learning doesn't mean you have to be an expert in every subject, but it does mean embracing the richness that comes from understanding more about the world around us. In the end, the pursuit of knowledge, even if it disrupts momentary bliss, often leads to a deeper and more meaningful kind of happiness.

6. "What's done is done."

This short, straightforward saying carries a sense of finality. It's often used to convey that once something has happened, there's no changing it, so there's no use dwelling on the past. But, here's the thing: this phrase can sometimes be used in ways that aren't all that great. It can be wielded as an excuse to avoid owning up to our actions and their consequences, to shirk responsibility, and to skip the whole making-amends part.

We all make our fair share of mistakes and choices, and those choices sometimes lead to outcomes we wish we could take back. That's when "What's done is done" might sound like a shrug of the shoulders, a way to say, "Oh well, it's over, no big deal."

But you see, actions have consequences, and part of being a responsible human being is acknowledging the role we play in those consequences. This saying shouldn't be about giving up or letting ourselves off the hook; it should be about understanding that we can't rewrite history but we sure can shape the future.

I've seen people use this phrase as a kind of shield, a way to avoid facing the music when they've messed up. Whether it's at work or in personal relationships, some people have a knack for not taking responsibility for their actions. They toss out "What's done is done" as if it erases all the baggage.

In reality, though, this phrase should be a nudge to look back, learn from our actions, and, if needed, make things right. It's about recognizing that the past is set in stone, but we can still influence the path ahead. So, instead of using it as a cop-out, let's use it as a motivation to get started.

It's an invitation to reflect on our choices, fix things when necessary, and pledge to be more thoughtful and accountable in the days to come. After all, "What's done is done" is not just a period; it's a comma, leading us to a chance for growth and a commitment to better decisions down the road.

7. "It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

This saying holds an interesting perspective. It's like a call to action, urging us to be proactive and seize opportunities. But, as with many things in life, it's not one-size-fits-all.

In some situations, it's entirely appropriate to take a bold step, even if you haven't received a green light. It can lead to innovation and progress. Yet, this saying can also be misused, becoming an excuse for disregarding rules, boundaries, or ethical considerations.

Finding the right balance means understanding when it's acceptable to act first and ask for forgiveness later, and when it's wiser to seek permission and respect the established norms.

I've encountered this duality in my own experiences. In my professional life, there have been times when taking calculated risks without formal permission led to creative breakthroughs. But these steps were always carefully thought out, and I was ready to accept the consequences if things didn't go as planned.

So, while the saying encourages taking initiative, it's essential to remember that it's not a free pass to recklessness. It's a call to action with responsibility. Be daring, but also be prepared to make amends if your actions require it.

Key Takeaway

Find your own sweet spot—that balance between when these nuggets of wisdom make sense and when they might steer you wrong. It’s like having a collection of tools in your mental toolkit. Sometimes they’re just what you need, and other times, you’re better off without them. So, don’t be afraid to sprinkle in a little bit of your own good judgment and common sense along the way.

To our collective consciousness!

Olajumoke.